December 2004 Hash Wrap- Up

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It was a lively crowd that gathered at Bald Eagle’s house on Saturday to celebrate Saturday’s hash, the last one presided over by our beloved Grandmaster, Sugar Daddy. Unfortunately for us, he will soon be leaving our hot little island for another, colder island far away. But, in continuing the British tradition, our new Grandmistress shall be none other than Ferfuxsake, who was elected by a majority and graciously accepted her post.

The hash was set in the hilly area of Pacot, and hared by Bald Eagle, Little Devil, Nicole, and Amelia. After some steep climbs and lovely vistas, the group returned to Bald Eagle’s house to begin the festivities (with Conrad and his wife arriving back at the house in the back of a truck?!).

We introduced three virgins, Alejandro, Raphael, and Mike, brought to us by Nicole and WetnWild, and sang a new song brought to us by our Songmaster, Big Mac, sung to the tune of “Frere Jacques”. At last, the moment we had all been waiting for, our Grandmaster took off his immunity and in a very moving, very wet beer drinking ceremony, passed on the ceremonial title to Ferfuxsake, after which he became a susceptible hasher like the rest of us. Pictures will be made available of this event soon. After that, it was open season on Sugar Daddy, who was included in every round of infractions that followed. He was nominated to serve as our Hashit for the remainder of the day, with Muffdiver continuing his obligations of that role at our next hash (to be had at Grace’s house in two weeks, and will be followed by a Christmas feast).

We took a short break from the festivities, and were fed some good old American snacks such as hot dogs, tater tots, and deviled eggs by Mrs. Grieg, who had just received her commissary supply for the month. With amazing foresight of the debauchery to come later, several pizzas were ordered to keep us sustained during the long night of drinking that ensued.

Our new Grandmistress, and outgoing Religious Advisor (whose role will be taken over by Big Mac, our former Song Master who can’t hold a tune to save his life) Ferfuxsake led us in baptizing six new initiates into our group. They are:

Sue Becker: Sue has been teaching kindergarten at Union School for the past year and a half. She is a Canuck, and dreads returning to the cold of Canada when her time in Haiti is up. She has been named, “Pedophile Princess”.

Christina Tribble: Due to the love of her cat, and other things, the expecting Christina has been dubbed “Pussy Dribbles”.

Conrad Tribble: Because of Conrad’s love of pink colored shirts, he has taken the name of “Little Pinky”. He claims that there are no other reasons for this name.

Christina Grieg, aka Bag Hag, has been given this awesome name due to the gross mishandling of her luggage and family items that have yet to arrive in Haiti. Or rather, they are in Haiti, they just aren’t at the Grieg’s house yet.

Mike Grieg: The Griegs’ young son Mike was baptized this Saturday as well (isn’t there a law against minors engaging in all this lewd behavior? Someone ought to cite his parents, and soon!) Poor Mike, his Halloween costume never arrived, and as he had four days off of school, he creatively came up with a chicken costume made out of a cardboard box. Thus….. Cock in a Box!

Nicole Deutsch, who is so annoyed at her hash name that she is leaving Haiti for good next week, has no comments as to the origin of her name, Nutsack Sucker. We can only imagine.

All in all, a good time was had by many, at least the parts everyone can remember.


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